Dramatic Things I’ve Said Part 2

A couple months ago I posted Dramatic Things I’ve Said, but I’ve continued to speak in hyperbole over the last 6 months.

Here are some more words that have actually come out of my mouth:

“But then the poster’s not centered and I would rather kill myself.”

“There’s nothing better than a really great snapchat.”

“I would saw off my own foot and eat it to have a chance to be in the clubhouse champagne celebration [after the Red Sox won the World Series]”

“Pants only purpose is to disrupt my happiness.”

“Potato skins in my mashed potatoes would literally ruin my Thanksgiving.”

“Is it going to rain? Because that would probably ruin my life.”

“I would choose death over crunchy peanut butter.”

“Oatmeal raisin cookies are the bane of my existence.”

“Short girls who date tall guys are worse than oatmeal raisin cookies.”

“I would sooner hang myself than write a 20 page paper.”

“Any parent who names their kid Golden should be shot execution style.”

“I would rather be shot in the face by Kim Kardashian than drink PBR.”

“Black ginger babies are the antichrist.”

“If Chris and Liam Hemsworth both peered into your eyes at the same time, you would be cleansed of all your sins and ailments.”

“Of all the things in the world, the Wonderball is my favorite.”

“‘But your booty don’t need explainin’ is the greatest lyric of all time. I’m going to get it tattooed on my face.”

“Not having emojis is a fate worse than death.”

“I’m so hungry that if you put red paint on cardboard, shredded yellow play-doh over and called it pizza I would eat it.”

“If I saw Lebron James in real life I would karate chop him in the throat.”

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One thought on “Dramatic Things I’ve Said Part 2

  1. Pingback: Dramatic Things I’ve Said Part 3 | annoying rambles

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