31 Pieces Of Proof That Heidi Klum Is Perfect

Fun Fact: Beyoncé wrote Flawless about Heidi Klum.
Sad Fact: No, she didn’t. (But she could have)

1. She is GORGEOUS
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NO ONE SHOULD GET TO LOOK THIS BEAUTIFUL

2. She doesn’t need make up to be beautiful
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Honestly, Heidi, how do you do that with your face? Your face is naturally perfect and science can’t explain it.

3. Her legs
Heidi-Klum-gave-glimpse-her-sexy-legs-host-Pablo-Motos
Her legs are so important sometimes she has to whip ’em out on crazy Spanish talk shows.

4. She is the Halloween Queen
Heidi Klum Halloween
Heidi is not a basic bitch. She doesn’t use Halloween as an excuse to slut up her look, she goes all in with her costumes and outdoes herself every year.

5. Tim Gunn is the ultimate gay best friend
Heid Klum and Tim Gunn
Tim and Heidi are the most fabulous duo of all time. I bet they go to brunch and then do some shopping and catch up on the latest gossip. THEY’RE SO CUTE.

6. Her accent

You’re out. Auf wiedersehen.

7. That time she was in a Guitar Hero commercial

NBD. Just Heidi being super sexy while playing video games. 

8. She can outshine a cheeseburger
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Did you even notice the delicious looking burger? Or did your eyes not see anything beyond Heidi’s blinding beauty?

9. You can imagine having a burger with her
Heidi Klum burger 2
She is so chill. She doesn’t seem like the type where you have to be fancy to impress her and she’s German so you know she’ll knock back a couple beers too. She might even burp and it be would the best burp to ever grace your ears/nose.

10. She eats french fries at the Golden Globes
Heidi Klum french fries
Heidi knows that there’s never a wrong time to enjoy french fries.

11. She eats ice cream
Heidi Klum and ice cream
Even though she maintains a supermodel body, she knows that ice cream is essential to a life of happiness.

12. She eats pizzaHeidi Klum pizza
I like a girl who knows how to eat.

13. She even pretended to work at a pizza place on I Get That A Lot

HEIDI, PLEASE BITE MY PIZZA.

14. She goes to Disneyland and wears Mickey earsImage
She’s not even embarrassed to be freaking out way harder than a child.

15. She has a line of baby clothes
truly scrumptious heidi klum
Truly Scrumptious is sold at Babies R Us and you can dress your baby to perfection thanks to Heidi.

16. Psy made a Gangnam Style video with her

She is obviously down for anything. SHE IS SO FUN.

17. She goes on hikes with her dogs
Heidi Klum and dogs
Just casually looking flawless on a mountain with her pups.

18. One of her dogs is named Simba
Heidi Klum Simba 4
SIMBA. AS IN MUFASA’S SON AND THE RIGHTFUL KING OF PRIDE ROCK.

19. She’s great at making silly faces
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How is she still perfect with such crazy eyes?

20. She has a line of active wear and looks flawless when she works out
Heidi Klum hknb
You can get all your gym clothes from HKNB so you can be just like Heidi when you work out. LOL JK YOU’LL NEVER BE HEIDI.

21. She makes masterful art with great messages
heidi klum art
*Heidi Klum’s beauty is eternal.

22. She drives a convertible (in photo shoots)
heidi klum convertible
This can only lead to the greatest road trip of all time. Or trip to the supermarket. Who cares where you’re going? You’re in a convertible with Heidi Klum.

23. She’s a great TV host
Heidi Klum Tim Gunn Emmy Outstanding Reality TV Host
She won an Emmy for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program and wrongfully lost 3 other nominations. I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW SHE ONLY WON ONCE!

24. She goes on boats
heidi klum on a boat
Imagine exploring the sea  with Heidi. You could go on adventures and experience the world together, you could braid each other’s hair and she’d reveal the secret to perfection…

25. She likes sports
Heidi Klum at a football game
Heidi may be the greatest supermodel in the universe but that doesn’t mean she’s too girly to enjoy a football game.

26. She loves to hang out with her mom
Heidi Klum and her mom
What’s cuter than Heidi hanging out at an amusement park with her mom and the largest bunch of balloons you’ve seen outside of Up? NOTHING.

27. She is fearlessheidi klum and tarantula
Just look at how that tarantula is perched on her graceful hands so close to her perfect face…I wish I was that tarantula.

28. She was on a Swimsuit cover for Sports Illustrated
Heidi Klum SI Swimsuit
She is always the hottest babe at the beach.

29. She’s the hottest Victoria’s Secret Angel ever
Heidi Klum Victoria's Secret
Just the hottest of all time, and she has serious competition. HER BODY IS PERFECT.

30. She looks amazing in face paintSeal and Heidi Klum face paint
Being a cheetah never seemed more appealing.

31. She rocks blonde and brunette hair
Heidi Klum brunette
Even when she’s not a blonde bombshell, she’s a bombshell nonetheless.

In short:
everything's perfect Heidi Klum

I’m in love with you, Heidi.
lesbian crush

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If You Could Have Dinner With Any 7 Celebrities, Who Would You Pick?

dinner1 I came across this question years ago on Tumblr and still have yet to decide who my 7 celebrity guests would be.  The deadly combination of loving 8 million celebrities and being absurdly indecisive makes it nearly impossible to narrow it down to a mere 7 celebs.  So, I have several tables that I want to sit at and refuse to pick one or rank them in any order.  Here are some of my celebrity tables:

The Smith Family Table I am obsessed with the Smiths. They are the coolest family probably ever and I want to be a part of it.  We would all hang out at our mansion, I would braid Willow’s hair, we’d watch The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and have rap battles (go to 7:12 for the epicness).  Are you listening Will and Jada? I’m ready to be adopted.

  1. Will Smith – HE IS TOO COOL.
  2. Jada Pinkett Smith – She married the coolest guy around.  That automatically gives her ten thousand swag points.
  3. Willow Smith – Is it bad that one of my role models is 12-years-old? (Don’t answer that.)
  4. Trey Smith – The Smith child no one knows about. I KNOW ABOUT YOU, TREY. He also represents my second chance of joining the Smith family.  If Will and Jada foolishly decide to not adopt me, I’ll have to marry into the family and Trey is the age-appropriate Smith son.  Are you listening, Trey? I’M READY FOR MARRIAGE. (Don’t I sound like a real catch?)
  5. Jaden Smith – Okay, so After Earth wasn’t great.  But the Pursuit of Happyness was, and every time I listen to “Never Say Never” I rewind and listen to his rap again and again.
  6. Usher – The swag at this table is about to breach capacity. He oozes coolness and makes awesome music.  Not to mention he was a huge upgrade from Cee Lo Green as a coach on The Voice. (Are The Voice producers reading this? WE WANT USHER AND SHAKIRA BACK!)  He seems a bit random to be seated at this table, but he makes more sense when you see who #7 is…
  7. Justin Bieber – JBiebz and Jaden are BFFLs.  Justin hangs out at the Smith mansion all the time, so he fits in seamlessly at this table and I love him (hopefully at this family dinner we can address his life and help him get back on track).

The SNL Table Who wouldn’t want to eat with these people who are paid to be funny?

  1. Jimmy Fallon – He is hilarious, he has a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor and he loves games.  Not to mention his dancing.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Jimmy Fallon should always be dancing.  Whether he is impersonating Justin Bieber or just doing his own thing, his dancing is definitive proof that love and happiness exist.
  2. Tina Fey – She’s the funniest woman ever. The end.
  3. Amy Poehler – It’s not even an option to separate Amy from Tina, they are a match made in Heaven.
  4. Kristen Wiig – She gives Tina Fey a run for her money for funniest woman.  Who didn’t love Bridesmaids? NO ONE.
  5. Seth Meyers – The Weekend Update is always hilarious and he’s a Red Sox fan. What else could you ask for?
  6. Andy Samberg – His Digital Shorts and The Lonely Island are two of the greatest things to happen in my life.
  7. Justin Timberlake – While not a cast member, he is ALWAYS great when he’s on and also he’s JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. He can sit anywhere he wants.  I have placed myself between him and Jimmy so I can be right in the middle of the most adorable and perfect friendship of all time.

The One Direction Table You knew this was coming.  There’s only 5 guests necessary here.

  1. Liam Payne – Flawless human,
  2. Niall Horan – Flawless human.
  3. Zayn Malik  – Flawless human.
  4. Louis Tomlinson – Flawless human.
  5. Harry Styles – Flawless human.

The Avengers Table Because superheroes.  Sorry, ScarJo, but if I invited you to this dinner my female competition goes from zero to infinity.

  1. Chris Hemsworth – It’s inappropriate how many times I’ve Google Image searched “Chris Hemsworth and baby.”  Not to mention he plays the namesake of my future firstborn child.
  2. Tom Hiddleston – He is so silly and too adorable with children. And British. That’s important.
  3. Joss Whedon – He was a writer for The  Avengers and Toy Story, two of the best movies ever.  And his screenplays are amazing and hilarious.
  4. Robert Downey, Jr. – Because obviously.
  5. Jeremy Renner – I would demand kindly request that he speak in his Boston accent from The Town throughout the entire dinner.
  6. Mark Ruffalo – Remember that time he danced to “Thriller” with Jennifer Garner?
  7. Chris Evans – He has played TWO superheroes and he’s from Boston.  Also arms.

The Random Awesomeness Table Pretty much the coolest people who always seem down for anything.

  1. Matt Damon – Good Will Hunting, the Bourne trilogy, Ocean’s Eleven, The Departed…am I naming Matt Damon movies or my favorite movies? The better question is: what’s the difference?  Did I mention that he’s from Boston and loves the Red Sox and he’s pretty much perfect all around?  Well, he is.
  2. Ben Affleck – Matt Damon’s BFFL, another Bostonian and Sox fan, he stars in, writes and directs great movies and unlike the rest of the internet, I don’t hate that he’s going to be Batman.
  3. Hugh Jackman – Have you even seen his 2009 Oscars opening number? IT’S THE GREATEST 7 MINUTES AND 46 SECONDS ON THE INTERNET.
  4. Joseph Gordon-Levitt – He was in a baseball movie, a heist movie, a superhero movie and a Disney movie.  That’s pretty much everything I love.  He also had one of the best opening monologues on SNL.
  5. Anna Kendrick – We have so much in common and would get along so well.  Buzzfeed already pretty much summed up why she would be the most amazing best friend.
  6. Ellen DeGeneres – Does anyone NOT love her? No, because that’s scientifically impossible.  If you don’t love Ellen you have no soul and we can’t be friends.
  7. Heidi Klum – Perfection in human form.

Wait…where’s Jennifer Lawrence? Emma Watson? Jackie Robinson? Jennifer Aniston?  Don’t fret, my friends.  I have not forgotten them, they are seated at my Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Baseball and Friends tables. You can imagine what those tables look like. So, who’s at your table?