12 Reasons To Never Leave Your House Again

Let’s all agree to become homebodies, kay?

1. Pants are optional
take off pants
Pants only function is to constrict your dreams and happiness. If you have the choice to never wear pants again, you make that choice.

take off pants (2)
You have the right to remain pantless. ‘MURICA.

3. You can be fat
No need to keep up appearances any more! The glory of never leaving your house means never having to wear a bathing suit at the beach! So you eat all those Ben & Jerry’s pints because no one has to look at your increasingly obese body ever again.

4. You don’t have to talk to people
I hate talking to people
There is nothing more awful and awkward than human interaction. Not to mention that people kind of suck…you’re better off avoiding people all together by staying home.

5. You can read all day
You can finally make a dent in your ever-growing book list. Work your way through A Song of Ice and Fire, read the classics you never got around to or you can even read Twilight. You never leave the house so no haters be trippin’ on your swag.

6. Netflix
ScandalOrange is the New BlackHouse of Cards? Yes, yes and yes! Watch all of the episodes because no one is stopping your Netflix binge!

7. There’s temperature control
cold (2)
You never have to deal with going outside into a hurricane, blizzard or heat wave. Thank your roof, heater and AC for staying dry at a nice 72º!

8. Your bed is in your house
Nothing is better than curling up in your bed. NOTHING. So why ever leave it?

9. Public intoxication is not a concern
drinking (3)
There’s no need to worry about staying decent in public places or having to find a designated driver if you’re drinking at home! Drink away, my friend.

10. Delivery
Hello, pizza, Chinese and Peapod! Since you can be as fat and disgusting as your clogged heart desires you can get all your favorite fatty foods delivered right to your front door. Go ahead and become friends with the delivery guy because you’ll be seeing a lot of each other.

11. Online shopping
Run out of remote batteries? Getting too fat to fit into your clothes? Bookshelf looking bare? Amazon is there to help you out! Don’t go outside and buy your necessities at a store, there’s nothing you need that can’t be ordered online. Fact. (probably)

12. Did I mention that you don’t have to wear pants?
take off clothes


Winter Break

I haven’t posted during winter break because I was:

a) packing for a trip back to Australia
b) volunteering in a third world country and bettering the world
c) studying up and preparing for next semester
d) lazy

Let’s just think of my lack of posting as a winter hiatus. The important thing is that I’ll be posting again because I know you all have missed me so much, or haven’t even noticed I took a blogging break…either way I’m back.

Here’s what I did during my 4 week break:

  • Read

That’s it. I crawled deep into my cave of antisocial stagnation and hibernated there for a month. Even social media, which is just pretending to be social, was too social for me. I wasn’t even a person, I just morphed into a Christmas cookie-consuming extension of my couch.

You couldn’t have been less productive than me if you tried. I didn’t even go on a Netflix binge like an average college student, I still have only seen one episode of Scandal. I walked away from break only slightly more knowledgeable about Greek mythology thanks to Percy Jackson (which I borrowed from my 11-year-old sister).

stay gold & see you when I morph back into a human (never),

Back in Boston!

It’s been 9 exciting and long months but I’m finally living back in Boston!

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adored my time in Australia, and Rhode Island will always be home to me, but I am completely and irrevocably in love with Boston.

(I can quote Twilight if I want to.)

Not only am I living in Boston, but I’m living in a great apartment with one of my very best friends I missed very much and it’s right in the center of campus!  Our apartment is fantastic.  It has a bedroom with two windows, a study with our desks for serious academic work, a big open living room and a little kitchen for all my cooking.  Not to mention three closets for hiding the bodies all our clothes and storage.  It’s pretty perfect.

On move-in day we found out that our apartment is hot as balls.  Bringing my 8 tons of crap belongings up the stairs and rearranging every piece of furniture made my  family lose about 5 lbs. But we gained it all back when went to lunch at my favorite Boston burger place, Tasty Burger.  It was worth it.  After I bid adeiu to my parents my roommate, Lisa, and I had a huge rager WOO SENIORS! our own dance party and played Heads Up with our friends.  That’s my life. 

stay gold & love Boston,