12 Reasons To Never Leave Your House Again

Let’s all agree to become homebodies, kay?

1. Pants are optional

Pants only function is to constrict your dreams and happiness. If you have the choice to never wear pants again, you make that choice.

2. I REPEAT: YOU CAN GO PANTLESS FOREVER.

You have the right to remain pantless. ‘MURICA.

3. You can be fat

No need to keep up appearances any more! The glory of never leaving your house means never having to wear a bathing suit at the beach! So you eat all those Ben & Jerry’s pints because no one has to look at your increasingly obese body ever again.

4. You don’t have to talk to people

There is nothing more awful and awkward than human interaction. Not to mention that people kind of suck…you’re better off avoiding people all together by staying home.

5. You can read all day

You can finally make a dent in your ever-growing book list. Work your way through A Song of Ice and Fire, read the classics you never got around to or you can even read Twilight. You never leave the house so no haters be trippin’ on your swag.

6. Netflix

Scandal? Orange is the New Black? House of Cards? Yes, yes and yes! Watch all of the episodes because no one is stopping your Netflix binge!

7. There’s temperature control

You never have to deal with going outside into a hurricane, blizzard or heat wave. Thank your roof, heater and AC for staying dry at a nice 72º!

8. Your bed is in your house

Nothing is better than curling up in your bed. NOTHING. So why ever leave it?

9. Public intoxication is not a concern

There’s no need to worry about staying decent in public places or having to find a designated driver if you’re drinking at home! Drink away, my friend.

10. Delivery

Hello, pizza, Chinese and Peapod! Since you can be as fat and disgusting as your clogged heart desires you can get all your favorite fatty foods delivered right to your front door. Go ahead and become friends with the delivery guy because you’ll be seeing a lot of each other.

11. Online shopping

Run out of remote batteries? Getting too fat to fit into your clothes? Bookshelf looking bare? Amazon is there to help you out! Don’t go outside and buy your necessities at a store, there’s nothing you need that can’t be ordered online. Fact. (probably)

12. Did I mention that you don’t have to wear pants?

BE FREE OF PANTS